Sumitra Burton

Most of us learned in our youth to avoid problems or obstacles at all cost, to turn away, run away or hide out. We were taught to plan out our lives and work to achieve our goals, allowing nothing to stand in the way of our struggle to control every detail.

Little did we know that life would have its own way most (all?) of the time and resisting what was offered only made things worse.  

I always wanted to live happily ever after. Fairy tales led me to believe that “my prince” would come to save me and take me on his amazing adventure, and would love me forever. So I married at 19 the young prince who had shown up for me, and ten years later found myself alone with 4 kids to raise, devastated! I had no idea who I was or how to be happy.

Soon I heard about Enlightenment – another promise of “happily ever after.” I practiced meditation, lived and worked in a spiritual community, studied communication skills, and still would be triggered in my daily relationships so that real happiness felt elusive.  

In 2012 I began training with Scott Kiloby in his Living Inquiries practices, became certified as a facilitator of those inquiries in 2013 and in 2020 with his newer Kiloby Inquiries.

Amazingly, to me, the happiness I’d been seeking outside was finally being found inside myself. All those years I’d been expecting life to unfold in a certain way – so that I’d be happy – and that expectation had been holding me in bondage.  

The Inquiry process has turned me around, to be curious and compassionate about the situations that naturally arise in life and my responses to them. Instead of running away or hiding from the outcomes I did not want, I could turn towards them, hold them lovingly in my inner awareness and come to accept them. I could flow with life rather than resist it.  

Inquiry sessions usually include a short guided rest to focus attention in the body, followed by a curious and compassionate exploration into the words, images and sensations that have become stuck together at times when we didn’t yet have the tools to remain centered and free in our relationships.  

By listening to the words, looking closely at the images and being willing to feel the sensations and emotions that flow through the body, we can experience those bonds loosening and releasing their grip. Freedom is experienced. And that freedom can feel like “happily ever after.”

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